The longer you are in a relationship with someone, the more certain things become routine, from your dinner schedule to the way you spend free time. Sometimes, s.e.x, too, can become routine and s.e.x.ual desire may fade. Of course, every couple is different, and decline in s.e.xual desire may not be an issue for you and your partner.
However, despite knowledge that s.e.x.ual desire ebbs and flows both within and between individuals, and that problems with s.e.x.ual desire are strongly linked to problems with relationships, there is a critical gap in understanding the factors that contribute to maintaining s.e.x.ual desire in the context of relationships.
The arrival of babies, stress from work, money worries, or the death of a loved one are some of common factors affecting s.e.x.ual desire. Researchers found that individuals who accept these fluctuations as normal and natural are more s.e.x.ually satisfied when they hit a bump. How Much S.e.x Do We Really Need?
Responsiveness to Partner
In relationships, we tend to be conscious of our partner’s needs and wants. For example, maybe we know they prefer s.e.x in the morning, or that their favorite dinner is eggplant parmesan. The difference maker, according to research, is what we decide to do with that information.
When we are particularly motivated to please a partner or make our partner happy, s.e.x.ual satisfaction and s.e.x.ual desire tends to follow. That includes being motivated to have s.e.x when our partner wants it, or trying something new that our partner is interested in, because we know it would make them happy.
Now here are some of the steps that you can consider for doing for better s.e.x with your wife :
- Find out how much s.e.x your wife really wants to have under optimal circumstances. When she asks for s.e.x once a week. You should answer that your ideal is four times a week. Don’t worry about that discrepancy – the important thing here is that she is still imagining herself wanting s.e.x.Your focus can now be to shift your expectations for your s.e.x life with her down to once per week, perhaps masturbating the other four nights, and looking forward to trying to make that one time with her excellent for both of you. Naturally, a huge part of why you are likely to be frustrated and angry about your s.e.x life is that you keep hoping and expecting to have more of it.
- Do things she usually does around the house like bathing or cooking, so that she is not totally worn out by the time you get around to slipping your hand under her pajama top. Or you can stun her by hiring someone to help when she is not expecting it. When you combine this helpfulness with a low-pressure of s.e.x, you may be stunned by the change in her responsiveness.
- Give them Space. Letting your partner have some time for herself to recharge. You can help her for caring babies and clean the house, doing housework a few hours so she can meet a friend for coffee, go shopping all days. This “time off” lets her wind down so that later she’ll be ready to heat up.
If you want more s.e.x from your wife, you have to recognize that people change, relationships change, and your s.e.x life doesn’t stay the same. Then try to cultivate that situation.