Do you know which aspect decide the success of a long-term relationship? That’s emotional connection, which most of people do not realize that. A relationship was built based on connection with others, we value our relationship especially romantic relationship. That’s why we are always conscious that we should nurse and develop it to be closer, lasting and flourished. Moreover, as adults we depend upon others to fill (s.e.x.)ual, social, and emotional needs, such as friendship, communication, nurturing, appreciation, learning, love, and touch. The closer a relationship, the more we’re interconnected.
We know that doesn’t mean that we know how to build that kind of relationship. Not most of us can learn how to balance oneself and other’s in an important relationship. People think of putting that relationship into priority and sometimes forget their own value and freedom. It’s really not a good way to raise and last it.
To understand deeply, first we need to know what is interdependence?
An interdependent relationship is a relationship where both sides are self-sufficient, love and respect themselves but decide to share their life with other to create a synergistic effect which is bigger than the sum of their parts.
Depends on emotional connections, but partners in a relationship always recognize their own value as well as their partner’s importance. Don’t try to turn others be different. Independence does not ask for any commitment, connection is built by each independent individual with their respect and wishes of a relationship merged by emotional and rational aspects.
People was taught about sense of independence when they are growing, which make prevent them from many valuable relationships. They are afraid of depending on others, losing themselves for benefits of partners. But they don’t know that they miss other important things, such incredible connection also helps to develop their own value, and reach emotional intimacy.
Misunderstand interdependence as dependence
It is not correct to put interdependence and dependence in a same comparison.
And in some ways it’s crucial that these two types of dependency be recognized as distinct . Not that codependent individuals aren’t dependent on others.
Codependent couples usually are out of balance. Frequently, there are struggles for power and control. There may be an imbalance of power or one partner may have taken on responsibility for the other.
Paradoxically, interdependency requires two people capable of autonomy. When couples love each other, it’s normal to feel attached, to desire closeness, to be concerned for each another, and to depend upon each other. They are affected by and need each other. However, they share power equally and take responsibility for their own feelings, actions, and contributions to the relationship. Because they have self-esteem, they can manage their thoughts and feelings on their own and don’t have to control someone else to feel okay. In an interdependent relationship, however, each person is able to comfortably rely on the other for help, understanding, and support.
How can you get to interdependence relationship?
The healthiest way for you to interact with those close to you is being truly interdependent. It is when both strong individuals, are involved with each other, but without sacrificing themselves or compromising their values.
First you need to assess where you are right now. If there is too much neediness or you feel that your partner is too independent and doesn’t want to be with you, rebalancing how you relate is very important. Without it, both of you will always feel out of sync, and that isn’t a great formula for a harmonious adult connection. Once you have established where you are, begin looking at how you got there.
Interdependent relationships require effort, nurturing and healthy boundaries. Gaining awareness of your own needs and goals is an important step toward reciprocity in relationships. Making a conscious decision to compromise or make a sacrifice for another person can be a positive thing as long as it doesn’t undermine an individual’s sense of self and well-being.
One effective way of ensuring that your interdependence relationship is to maintain your own identity as an individual as well as a couple. You maintain your identity through work, friendships or involvement in activities that you engage in independently. In order to avoid becoming disconnected from your partner, balance your independence with time spent together on activities you both enjoy.
Living in an interdependent relationship gives you both respect and nurturing. What a nice way to go through life.