When holidays come, joy and happiness will also come into your life. But In all the chaos of the season, don’t let your marriage fall off the priority list. To help you avoid that fate, check out these tips for keeping your marriage intact during the holidays. Keeping Your Marriage Intact Over the Holidays :
Make a plan and budget for holidays
Sit down with your partner to make a list of everything that needs to be done for the holidays. Once you both see the full to-do list and have a sense of all work the other is going to put in, maybe you’ll decide together to skip the elaborate exterior lighting display and instead share the shopping duties. Or maybe you’ll both still want to do it all, but will commit to helping each other out with a few specific duties. Either way, be very clear about who’s doing what, so neither person feels overwhelmed and you both feel supported.
Everything needs plan so you will follow all the things both of you set up. Maybe change will cause but at least you have a goal and clear plan.
Along with plan, you need to focus on budget. You know, budget is complicated issue ever which can lead to unexpected arguments and destroy your marriage. Excessive budget is not what you want. So to avoid it, You have to decide the amount of money you want to allocate for holidays. If you draft a budget together, you’re less likely to argue about money in a week or two. In addition to things like decorations, dinners, travel (and the spa day you totally deserve), decide who you’re going to buy gifts for and how much you’ll spend on each person.
Focus on your
Make sure you are taking time each day to do something just with your partner and your children. Holiday is time for family together, so you should be conscious of happiness and joy for all members. Take a walk, go to a movie, or prepare a big party. This is a great way to introduce some of your traditions and give you a break at the same time.
All of the experts agree to try to keep the holidays fun and focused on the kids. Playing and having fun can bring people together.
“Holidays are supposed to be festive, but for many people, cheer is replaced by stress as they deal with family drama, financial concerns, and fatigue,” says counselor Jonathan Bennett “You and your partner might get stressed and become grumpy, anxious, and argumentative. Look at your partner with empathy and resist the urge to assume the worst if he or she acts a little like Scrooge.” There’s no need for “Bah, Humbug!” in your marriage! Be a little more empathetic than feels natural or “normal” during this unique time of the year.
Share old traditions, but make new ones
Because the holidays are, ultimately, about family, we each come to a relationship with years of traditions. Be honest about these with your spouse, but know when old family traditions aren’t a fit for your new family. Embrace which of your partner’s traditions that do work, and then create new traditions of your own.
Zach Brittle shared “Rituals also help ensure that your relationship is unique. Many people confuse ritual with routine. Routines are the patterns you fall into as part of the natural flow of your life. Rituals are how you infuse your routine with creativity.”
Work together to find a holiday tradition that is uniquely and creatively yours with your partner.
Lower your expectations
We need to ensure during the holiday season that we remember what love is. Love is not the scene from the jewelry commercial where the man gives us a jeweled bracelet underneath the mistletoe. Love is not your partner being able to read your mind. Love is not your spouse proving that he or she is perfect. Love is about being a team, covering each other’s imperfections, and holding hands walking to every stage of life.
Spending more time to fall in deep with love, cultivate it everyday, tell them sentence” I love you” and you will receive back.
So, this holiday season I wish us all meaningful connections with our spouses, the ones who should mean the most to us